Chips and Buttons

I call/ed it a chip on my shoulder. My therapist matter-of-factly said it was my button. Like I'm allowed to have something that just annoys me. I just need to be aware of that and deal with it in a healthy way and if I don't deal with it in the best way apologize and work on being better next time.

I get annoyed when it seems like someone assumes that I don't know something. I don't mind at all if someone corrects me because I was wrong or tells me something I really didn't know. I have no problem knowing and admitting that there is a lot that I don't know. But when it is something I do know but it feels like someone assumes that I don't, then I get annoyed. Sometimes I handle it better than other times.

For the longest time I was the youngest person in my work-group and I still deal with a lot of people who are my parents' ages and have had many more years of experience than I do. So even though I've been working for almost 15 years, some people still treat me like a kid. One of my coworkers went as far as to say, "I love my little mentee..." recently. I love the familiar attitude our team has towards each other, but sometimes its annoying. But it's true -- even though in some situations this annoys the hell out of me, I know that I don't know as much as these folks and that I am very lucky to have a lot of experienced, knowledgeable mentors I can reach out to and that are willing to support and teach me! And they really mean well. So I try to take everything as a learning opportunity. 

But this not only happens at work -- but in non-work situations. And again, no one means any harm by it. Everyone is just trying to help or just sharing what they know. And there is no way that anyone can know what I know, know what I have experienced, etc. There is really no reason I should feel so annoyed. If it matters, I should just steadfastly respond by telling them what I do know, what I think, and what my opinions are. 

And you know what, people are just going to do things sometimes that annoy me. AND THAT'S OK. I'm allowed to get annoyed. I am a human being. People are allowed to do things that annoy me. And I'm allowed to feel upset or even mad. Especially when I've been more stressed or anxious than usual.

But I could also make sure to work on being a little upset and not letting it fester and turn into something worse. I have a tendency to just try to handle things and let things go until they build up and I get madder than I should and I say things that I really don't mean and it makes the situation worse.

Just because I get annoyed or mad doesn't mean that I don't love and appreciate the people who made me annoyed or that I don't want to have discussions and even arguments with them. It doesn't mean I want them to change. It just means I got annoyed. AND THAT'S OK.

I'm a human being. I have chips and buttons. Things that annoy me. Sometimes I get stressed out and can't handle things as well as I think I normally do. And that's OK.